Right around now is when parents start pulling out a pretty strong behavior card: Santa’s Naughty and Nice list.
Think about it.
You don’t hear parents out in public with unruly kids in June sternly admonishing them, “Behave! You don’t want to end up on Santa’s Naughty List or he won’t bring you any presents!” But it’s a common occurrence during these last few weeks before Christmas.
And putting aside my feelings about the whole Santa myth for a moment, I have to ask why there has to be a Naughty OR Nice List and why there can’t be a Naughty AND Nice List. After all, sometimes it pays to be Naughty.
For instance, we all learned that we should respect our elders and not talk back, right? That’s playing NICE.
But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t use your voice and speak up for yourself if someone is taking advantage of you. No, go ahead, SPEAK UP! Even if it means that you’ll receive one big black mark on that person’s Naughty List for doing so.
Or, here’s another example.
We all learned that we should try not to hurt other people’s feelings, right? NICE people don’t do that.
But don’t you most respect the friends and loved ones in your life who can be brutally honest with you? Who can call you on the excuses and rationalizations that work with everybody else but don’t work with them because they hold you to a higher standard? The people who aren’t afraid to bruise your feelings if it means helping you see a truth that’s in your blind spot and holding you back?
And where do these people live? I know I have them on my Nice List.
Or let’s take the example of a hassled, frazzled mom juggling a bunch of kids and a job. Or a single person juggling her career and caring for a sick or elderly loved one.
What’s NICE is to unselfishly give and give and give until you can’t give any more.
What’s NAUGHTY is to say NO once in a while. To selfishly say I NEED A BREAK and this next hour is for ME. And then to take that time to re-charge so you can return to your challenges conscious and refreshed.
Now, is there anyone out there who would put you on a Naughty List for doing that? If so, I say THEY’RE the ones who should go on the Naughty List! Don’t you agree?
Debbie Ford, author of The Dark Side of the Light Chasers among other bestsellers, has spent her career teaching about our Shadow. It’s that part of ourselves that we bury, that we don’t want to acknowledge, that we try to suppress or hide. It’s the NAUGHTY side. The part of us that we identify as lazy, critical, controlling, selfish, angry or weak.
But rather than trying to tame this beast and making sure every one of our actions shows up on somebody’s NICE List, we need to integrate and reclaim these Naughty aspects of ourselves and use them to serve our purposes.
Just as there are often gifts hidden in our greatest challenges, there are also gifts hidden in our greatest weaknesses. And by shifting our perception of what’s NAUGHTY and NICE about ourselves, we are empowered to live out lives that are so much more whole and authentic.
So don’t feel like you have to choose between today’s Naughty and Nice VPODS.
It’s quite all right to admit that you find both of them appealing whether you’re more drawn to the sleek, wicked, attention-grabbing vintage 1990s Jean-Paul Gaultier catsuit or the more innocent and demure vintage 1950s beaded circle skirt.
They’re both naughty AND nice choices for a Vintage Crusader!
Available at Chi Chi and the Greek.
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